What do you do with unruly lilacs? What happens if you find a person who looks like a mushroom? And if round things are round, and rectangular things are rectangular, what shape is an image of success?
I last did a post that contained this particular sort of weird and wonderful at the end of last year. Or maybe the beginning of this one. Or some time in between. Whatever.
Well, no. Not whatever, ‘cos the post was called Happy New Year – I’m POP! ular and generally when something contains the words ‘new’ and ‘year’ with the word new preceding the word year, it means it’s the new year. So anyway… if you missed that post and clicky on the link (that one above with ‘Happy New Year – I’m POP! ular’ in it) and scroll down it til you find something about search terms, you’ll… er… find search terms…
Oh, didn’t I say? Yes, that’s what this post is about. Yep, this one you’re looking at. (Not the other one you’re looking at – come back right now. Please pay attention or we’ll be here all day. Or all night, if that’s the lack of light situation where you are.)
Yes, well, here’s another batch of weird and wonderful (and decidedly strange) search terms people used and somehow found their way to my blog. The search terms are in bold. My replies to them aren’t.
Oh and for anyone whose mother tongue is Hindi, my profuse apologies in advance. Blame Google Translate.
my lilacs are unruly
I’m sorry about that. Have you tried putting them on the naughty step? It’s near the greenhouse.
person who looks like a mushroom
You came to my blog on that? I dunno… next it’ll be machine elves…
was dire straits song on muppets
Which one? Gonzos of Swing?
what can you say about the character of the bird?
The bird is quite fastidious and regularly eats his nits.
dont be chocky ‘there is some people better than you
Indeed there is.
i’m old-bird meaning
Well, okay. You know when you find a depressed chicken sitting on the side of the road with very few feathers and a sort of wrinkled forehead? That’s a chicken that’s taken so long trying to decide why it crossed the road, and how to get back again, that it’s got old.
is the bluetit related to the hummingbird
Only by marriage.
cant you see hang drum
Not if it’s hiding, no.
wise tails about sharing plants
In my opinion, tails that share plants aren’t very wise at all. I mean, where will they put them? And how tall will the flowerpots need to be? And wouldn’t it be unfair to manx cats? Not to mention human beings who, in the main (or the bum) don’t have tails. Well, apart from residue ones that don’t wag.
abstract round image of success
First off, round things are usually round, like rectangular things are usually rectangular and as such they aren’t abstract. Okay? Good. Now we’ve got that cleared up, do you want a round image of success or an abstract one? You’re not sure? Well, here’s a choice:
An O is usually round and is often very successful when placed correctly in a word. First ensure the word normally has an O in it.
In a roundabout way with some spoons and treacle kneepads ark ark arkadoodle.
10 lines on my favourite fruit blackberry in hindi
Er… I’ll pass on 10 and give you 8 (with the help of Google Translate).
ब्लैकबेरी फल हैं
Blackberries are fruit
ब्लैकबेरी आमतौर पर हिन्दी में लिख नहीं है, वे रंज बोलना पसंद करते हैं
Blackberries don’t usually write in Hindi, they prefer pip speak
काले जामुन असामाजिक रहे हैं, वे अपनी उंगलियों दाग की तरह
Blackberries are antisocial, they like to stain your fingers
काले जामुन लहसुन के साथ अवैध संबंध है.
Blackberries have illicit relationships with garlic. Don’t ask.
काले जामुन के पेड़ों पर हो जाना नहीं है.
Blackberries don’t grow on trees.
वे काले धाराओं से कम विटामिन सी होते हैं क्योंकि काले जामुन कभी कभी थोड़ा कड़वा हैं. यह हास्य उन्हें करने के लिए असंभव है.
Blackberries are sometimes a little bitter because they contain less vitamin C than blackcurrents. It is impossible to humour them.
आप एक काली बेरी के साथ कारण नहीं कर सकते
You cannot reason with a blackberry
So – over to you. What weird and wonderful search terms have brought people to you blog recently? Or if you haven’t a blog, what weird and wonderful search terms have you found yourself using? And did they get you the results you’d expected?
Oh and in case you’re wondering about the ’2′ in the title, it’s ‘cos I have another post called Weird and Wonderful and amongst other things, it contains a skating pigeon. And yes, you’re right, it doesn’t have the word ‘new’ or the word ‘year’ in it. Well… not that I can remember, anyway.